I Blogged Myself

Why do you always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, To read this blog, y'know.

Welcome to the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational blog since Kermit left just a little bit of the swamp in his pants.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Has Yellow Turned Mello?

Greg’s sick. We’ve probably all heard that by now. In Australia this morning, there was more news coverage on the tragedy of the Yellow Wiggle who was (at that point) expected to announce his retirement for health reasons, than there was on the tragedy of the Blackhawk helicopter crash near Fiji that has now been confirmed as killing two Australian serviceman (or women, as identitied are yet to be released) and injured seven others.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s certainly scary and disturbing and no doubt very worrying for all concerned that doctors can’t diagnose Page’s “mystery illness”. Perhaps he’s just had too many hot potatoes and too much fruit salad. I mean, what kind of diet is that?!

So what does all this mean? Well, it’s finally happened. The marketing juggernaut that is The Wiggles has come crashing down.

Hmm, okay, that might seem a bit extreme, but they’ve encountered their first ‘Pete Best’ incident, and unlike The Beatles, you’ve got to wonder if The Wiggles’ identity will recover as well, considering Greg Page (the Yellow Wiggle) is seen by many as being the front-man / ‘first’ or ‘main’ Wiggle.

Let’s face it, the Blue Wiggle is the goofy one, the Red Wiggle is the googly-eyed one, and the Asian Wiggle is the fourth one. It’s the Yellow Wiggle who runs the show. He’s the one they look to in times of crisis to lead them to victory. And he’s the one that we, as an audience, look to in times of concerts and DVDs and TV shows and lunchboxes and all other Wiggles merchandise as the Boss Wiggle.

So what if their internal history doesn’t actually support this notion? (Greg was the third Wiggle to officially join the group.) The point is he’s seen by many to be the Top Wiggle.

Seein’ Red? Feelin’ Blue? Narcoleptic Asian?
Yellow Streak? Barney Rip-Off?

Maybe you have a different opinion of The Wiggles’ “pecking order”. If so, please let me know who you see as Wiggles Number 1, 2, 3 and 4. I say it goes like this: Yellow, Red, Blue and Asian. What do you say?


Tuesday, November 28, 2006

From Strength To Strength

Things are going well in the BEVIS household at the moment. We have an adorable new son who lights up our life, we have a new car that we got for a great price, Christmas is around the corner (and that’s good news for everybody!), and today ... on the ten week anniversary of me getting this job ... I was promoted to Team Leader.

It may not sound very special at first, but consider the following:

(a) It’s more money (Boo-yah!)

(b) It’s more responsibility (which I love)

(c) The people who trained me and showed me the ropes in my first few weeks here will report to me from Monday

(d) In the six years I spent at my former workplace, I was never once considered for any kind of promotion (which says more about the people in the management roles back there than it does about me)

(e) It’s a long-overdue validation for me that I’m able to do good stuff

(f) It’s more money (I know I said that, but after seven months of unemployment, we’re really feeling the sting at the moment and it’s going to be our 'leanest' Christmas ever)

(g) I get to choose which direction I want the department to go in (I’m thinking ‘blogging’)

(h) The people here are ace

(i) The business is fantastic

(j) The job is gnarly

(k) I can’t believe I’m up to "(k)" already!

(l) I get a work mobile phone (my first such work phone)

(m) I don’t have to work longer hours or do anything else I’d consider 'worse' than my current role

(n) I can write this post during work hours without fear of being busted because I’M THE NEW BOSS, DAMMIT

(o) <-- That looks like a nipple

(p) I’m only one level underneath the four main managers of the place, now (with a view on the top job – they’d all better watch their backs!)

(q) Although I still have a female manager myself, for once in my working life I’ve got female ‘underlings’ (which might sound like a bad word to use, but I definitely prefer it to ‘inferiors’), instead of always being the one guy in a team of females ... I now RUN the team of females! It’s a small difference, but one I’m grabbing with both hands

(r) The outgoing Team Leader is a wonderful woman, but my manager has asked me to be more of a take-charge person than she was, meaning she’s basically asked me to run the team however I wish, but making myself all self-important is fine with her!

(s) It’s more money (this really is a good thing)

(t) Wifey’s allowed to bring Sweetums into the office anytime I want (this was actually the case anyway, but now I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission!) ... (sorta)

(u) I’ll get the Team Leader’s work credit card so I can take the team out to lunch whenever I feel like it

(v) I can also decide (within reason) if I want to leave early to see Sweetums

(w) I get to bring bags of lollies in to the office so my underlings will think I’m the best boss EVER

(x) Wifey thinks I look sexy in a suit

(y) Two words: PARTY FRIDAY!

(z) ... And that’s a whole alphabet full of reasons!

Although Wifey and I won’t be in a financial position to go out and celebrate for about a month or two, I wanted to let you guys know (you’re like family, after all*), because I’m very excited and proud of myself.

Like I said, it’d be very small potatoes to many people, but to me this is evidence that the BEVIS household is going from strength to strength.

* That reminds me ... I must remember to tell my family the news ...


Monday, November 27, 2006

Sweetums Update # 2

Okay, I have to tell you guys 'n' girls a few things:

Sweetums is ready to crawl. He's just over seven weeks old, and he's already trying to crawl.

He loves it when we read books to him (watching our faces and then looking at the pictures), he has suddenly become quite long (tall), and he laughs at and responds to everything.


Every parent must think the same thing, but he really is accelerating very fast through stages he shouldn't have reached yet. Bring me back to Earth, somebody. Tell me it's nothing unusual. Or tell me I have a child prodigy who'll be paying my way when he's thirteen.

Doogie Howser MD will have nothing on Sweetums!

Okay, photo time:

The little poser!

"One million dollars!"

Daddy is hilarious!

Dressed up as Dr Bunsen Honeydew.


Thursday, November 23, 2006

Muppet Question # 11 Answered

On Thursday, November 02, 2006 at 12:02:49 AM, Homo J. Sapien said...

A Muppet question from someone old enough to remember. Whats the name of the character with the gold tooth and feathered cap? I think he had something to do with the band. Or was he Miss Piggy's pimp?

Well, Homo (if I may call you that), your first instinct was correct (although your second instinct probably looks more the part - but it's a family show!)

The character's name is Dr Teeth, and he was voiced by Jim Henson (as was Kermit, Rowlf, Waldorf and others). He is often erroneously credited as the Muppet who sang the world-famous 'Mahna Mahna' song, but in fact that was sung by another Muppet, specifically called Mahna Mahna, who was also voiced by Henson (however, it's fair to say that Mahna Mahna sounded very similar to Dr Teeth to the point of sounding exactly alike; hence the confusion).

'Old School' Dr Teeth.

Your memory of him having 'something to do with the band' is spot-on. In fact, he was the leader of the band. The band's proper name was 'Dr Teeth & The Electric Mayhem', although for all intents and purposes they were simply refered to in casual conversation as 'The Electric Mayhem'. (Note: The word 'Band' should never appear as part of their name.) In addition to being in charge, Dr Teeth is the lead singer and plays keyboard.

Dr Teeth & The Electric Mayhem.
Left to right: Dr Teeth, Floyd, Janice and Zoot,
with Animal on drums at the back.

Dr Teeth was purportedly a caricature of jazz keyboardist Dr John (both his appearance and his unique style of talking are parodies of Dr John), although sources indicate that other inspirations included Leon Russell and Elton John.

Dr Teeth and Animal.

There were no pimps on The Muppet Show.


Saturday, November 18, 2006

Tonight Is Novembuur Night

Wifey's on her way home from the first Melbourne U2 concert, which (as you probably know) was re-scheduled from earlier in the year. You may also recall that I bought Wifey a single ticket to the first show (because that's all that was available at the time, although she went with friends) for Valentine's Day, and then U2 postponed their gigs anyway (as fully documented here).

The postponing of the shows turned out to be a very good thing for us, because we found out not long after buying the ticket that Wifey was pregnant, and she would have been heavily pregnant at the time of the original concerts (well ... she'd still have been pregnant, anyway). And in the "mosh pit" (general admission - the no seating area). Tonight, of course, I'm on babysitting duty.

And loving it.

Sweetums really is a wonderful baby. He ate and slept and enjoyed his "Daddy cuddles" ... and that was that. Delightful.

I really do enjoy being a father.

I also managed to re-watch (and take notes on) the penultimate episode of TGYH, so once I get a chance to sit down and type it all up, my review will be posted on my TV blog. (For those of you who're waiting.)

Wifey rang me when she left our friends' house about ten minutes ago, so she should be home any second. Which is good, because Sweetums has just woken up and he's crying for food.

But it's Wifey's turn now. Surely I can't be expected to look after him for more than eight hours in a row??!!


Friday, November 17, 2006

TV Is My Life ... Interior Design Ain't

I installed my own flatscreen TV yesterday. I feel pretty proud of myself, too.

It's not easy being green ... or brilliant.

I bought myself a flatscreen TV last week, and installed it in our loungeroom myself yesterday. I did a great job, too.

I’m not at all ‘technically-minded’, so it took quite a bit of motivation (the promise of a working TV) to fire me up enough until I was ready to tackle such a huge home-handyman project.

I went to Bunnings and I bought my tools.

I brought them home and laid them out on the loungeroom floor.

I reached for the phone to call someone who’d come and do this for me. (Who’d do it? An electrician? A furniture removalist? A plumber?)

I was tackled to the ground by Wifey, who was adamant that I do this one myself.

I spent days poring over he instructions so I’d know what I was doing.

And then I attempted it.

The end result is … we have a working, full-operational, gigantatron of a television set in our loungeroom. And flatscreen is always the best.

And the best thing is … I did it all myself.

(Did I get you for a minute, there?)


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Little Bro

Some of you already know that my little brother is down from Sydney at the moment. He’ll turn twenty-four next month, and that makes me feel really old. Of course, part of the reason he came down was to meet my son, which also kinda makes me feel old.

Here’s a picture of him, for any newer readers who haven’t known me to talk about him before:

That’s right, he’s a mad drummer. I said before that PART of the reason he came down was to meet my son, and that’s because the MAIN reason he came down to Melbourne from Sydney was actually to attend two of the three Melbourne Pearl Jam concerts that are on this week.

He’s a crazy Pearl Jam freak. It’s fair to say that Pearl Jam is to my brother what The Muppets are to me.

Let me pause a moment while you allow that statement to sink in.

Yes, he’s that crazy about Pearl Jam.

He went to his first Melbourne Pearl Jam concert last night, and came home shortly before 1am, smiling from ear to ear and reeking of smoke. He loved it. The next Melbourne Pearl Jam gig he’s going to is this Thursday night. If you’re gonna be there, look out for him – he’ll have a huge smile on his face like this:

But that’s not all. He’s already been to a Sydney Pearl Jam concert, and he’ll also be attending a Pearl Jam gig in Newcastle next week (at least, I think it’s next week), and a final Pearl Jam concert in Sydney. (I told you he was crazy about them.)

He’s the drummer in a band himself, and they’re really good (my brother-in-law – which is to say, my sister’s husband – is also in the band), and basically he’s too cool for school. WAY cooler than his dorky older brother. (But hands up which sibling has fathered a child?)

Bro and I have always gotten along well together. There’s seven-and-a-half years between us, so it’s not as if we were living out of each other’s pockets or anything. Our sister is situated right in the middle (age-wise, I mean – she’s not literally sitting between us as I type this).

Little Brother & BEVIS in their younger days.

Wifey and my little brother came in and met me at work today for lunch. Naturally they brought Sweetums with them, and I got to show him off to all my workmates, who were (but-of-course) delighted.

My brother will be returning to Sydney at the end of the week, because he has an exam to sit on Monday (before he attends his two remaining Pearl Jam concerts).

Overkill? Not the way he tells it. Pearl Jam are also giving concerts in Adelaide, Perth and Brisbane, but he hasn’t tried to get tickets for those shows!

He has to save some of his money for buying all the Pearl Jam merchandise they sell at the gigs!

(And for buying Sweetums lots of presents for Christmas! Muppet presents, that is.)


Friday, November 10, 2006

Avert Thine Eyes!

I was sort of surprised last night when both Wifey and her sister didn't know this already. After seeing the ad on TV for like the hundredth time for Kylie's new "Darling" perfume, I casually remarked to Wifey about the shape of the bottle.

I presumed Wifey had realised, but she hadn't. When she asked her sister about it, her sister's eyes were also opened.

I'm not assuming no one else has seen this. I can't be the only one. But a cursory look through the online media on the subject doesn't reveal anyone actually saying this. Is it possible I'm one of only a few people to see what they've done here?

I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about, gentle readers. You're all very smart, I can tell. So let's not all show off, okay? But take a look at the bottle again:

These pics aren't the best, but I couldn't find an image online as clear as the one on the TV ad, so maybe look carefully at it on the telly next time the ad comes on if you can't see it well enough here.

Does it look like Kylie's signature shape to anyone else?

I think it's clever, and I don't know why they haven't come right out and told everyone what it is. I reckon it's a good marketing strategy. They shouldn't pretend the bottle's all innocent when it's actually such a good idea.

Anyway, my sister-in-law now thinks I'm mighty clever for spotting this, so I can live with that.

Either that, or she thinks I'm a perv.


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Ronald Dumsfeld

Much has been said of Donald Rumsfeld’s resignation, but nothing said so far has been more apt and eloquent as this entry on Wikipedia.

We salute you, sir.


Saturday, November 04, 2006

Sweetums Update # 1 *


Sweetums has been progressing nicely. I don't mean to sound like he's a project in the garden I'm working on over the weekend. His sleeping habits have been a little unsettled of late, as he's been going through his four-week growth-spurt and requires more feedings and therefore cries more often. But he's feeding naturally, has been raising his head (when lying on his stomach) since the first week, has rolled himself over onto his back, and enjoys Mummy reading stories to him (he watches her face - transfixed - and then studies the pictures in the book when she shows them to him).

He also stood up on his own legs when placed on the seat of the couch and lent against the arm of the couch (being supported by Daddy - but not aided when he stood).

He is happy and peaceful most of the time, and has stopped crying when his nappies are changed or when he has a bath. It's all one big adventure now.

What a world. I wish I still had my delighted fascination with my existence! How utterly relaxing to have no worries greater than whether that wall I'm looking at is red or white.

*sighs dreamily*

Oh yes, and he's smiling now.


I promise that this blog is not going to turn into a "Baby" themed blog. Every post is NOT going to be filled with nappy stories or vomit stories or babysitting stories or kidnapping stories, I swear it. I'm sure that Sweetums will occasionally make his mark, but it's not going to change things around here too much.

So don't concern your pretty little heads about that. :)


Friday, November 03, 2006

Dad Jokes A Specialty

It's time to celebrate!

After more than a year in blogosphere obscurity, this blog is finally back up and running!

Come along and pun, pun, pun! It really is such fun, fun, fun!

(The fact that I'm a corny pun-meister should worry you all. But not as much as it will be the bane of Sweetums' existence during his teenage years.)


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halloween Be Thy Name

Freakin' kids!

Stay away from our front door! No lollies for you!

And keep it down - we've got a newborn baby who's trying to sleep!

(Have I become my neighbourhood's scary old crackpot?)