I Blogged Myself

Why do you always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, To read this blog, y'know.

Welcome to the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational blog since Kermit left just a little bit of the swamp in his pants.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Has Yellow Turned Mello?

Greg’s sick. We’ve probably all heard that by now. In Australia this morning, there was more news coverage on the tragedy of the Yellow Wiggle who was (at that point) expected to announce his retirement for health reasons, than there was on the tragedy of the Blackhawk helicopter crash near Fiji that has now been confirmed as killing two Australian serviceman (or women, as identitied are yet to be released) and injured seven others.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s certainly scary and disturbing and no doubt very worrying for all concerned that doctors can’t diagnose Page’s “mystery illness”. Perhaps he’s just had too many hot potatoes and too much fruit salad. I mean, what kind of diet is that?!

So what does all this mean? Well, it’s finally happened. The marketing juggernaut that is The Wiggles has come crashing down.

Hmm, okay, that might seem a bit extreme, but they’ve encountered their first ‘Pete Best’ incident, and unlike The Beatles, you’ve got to wonder if The Wiggles’ identity will recover as well, considering Greg Page (the Yellow Wiggle) is seen by many as being the front-man / ‘first’ or ‘main’ Wiggle.

Let’s face it, the Blue Wiggle is the goofy one, the Red Wiggle is the googly-eyed one, and the Asian Wiggle is the fourth one. It’s the Yellow Wiggle who runs the show. He’s the one they look to in times of crisis to lead them to victory. And he’s the one that we, as an audience, look to in times of concerts and DVDs and TV shows and lunchboxes and all other Wiggles merchandise as the Boss Wiggle.

So what if their internal history doesn’t actually support this notion? (Greg was the third Wiggle to officially join the group.) The point is he’s seen by many to be the Top Wiggle.

Seein’ Red? Feelin’ Blue? Narcoleptic Asian?
Yellow Streak? Barney Rip-Off?

Maybe you have a different opinion of The Wiggles’ “pecking order”. If so, please let me know who you see as Wiggles Number 1, 2, 3 and 4. I say it goes like this: Yellow, Red, Blue and Asian. What do you say?



At Thursday, November 30, 2006 10:15:00 am, Anonymous No Dramas said...

I would have gone Yellow, Blue, Red, Purple.
Thank you for fixing this for me as I thought it was the Red one that was sick. Poor Yellow Wiggle.

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 11:00:00 am, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

i'm kind of disturbed that you're talking about jeff as asian but all the others using their colours. i think maybe you're making a point, and not being racist, but it's not coming across well. to me.

but yes, i would agree, yellowman is the leader. but i would put purple ahead of red. never liked the red dude - nothing to offer. he doesn't have a running gag as far as i know, a la the wake up jeff schtik.

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 11:39:00 am, Blogger BEVIS said...

No dramas, No Dramas.

MG, I'm definitely making a point about how we categorise without rhyme or reason (and mostly discriminately). I'm not being racist, although I apologise if it offends anyone. I'm making a pointed statement about racists rather than actually trying to be one myself. But I'm sure actual racists would say the same thing and use it as an excuse. I guess if you know me, you know I'm not trying to be a jerk. ("It just comes naturally!" Haha.)

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 12:00:00 pm, Blogger huniii said...

As a mum who is subjected to that stuff on a daily basis, the way it goes in our house is yellow blue purple red.

greg does lead vocals so as in all bands is considered the front man. anthony loves food and is a complete nob, so goes down as my sons favourite. jeff has "wake up jeff" so his appearance involves screeming at the top of your lungs - a definate fav with the kiddies, but murry? wtf? the guy dances like a retard, and all he does is play the guitar & look goofy. that and i think he's wags-the-dog's favourite wiggle.

wags is a loser too. so says my son. and dorothy is too girly. henry talks like a poofter, amd the only one he TRULY adores is capatin feathersword.

So does his mum. that captain is HAWT! and freaking funny.

he can so tickle me anyday

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 2:49:00 pm, Blogger Kris said...

Dude those wiggles are the unfortunate love child of the teletubbies and they all freaking scare me.

I hope you don't subject your child to this stuff. Make him watch He-Man and Voltron and Thundercats.

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 6:57:00 pm, Blogger littlefaeriegirl said...

the wiggles cannot be the love shild of teletubbies as they were around way before them.
i love the wiggles, and im sad that yellow wiggle is sick.
i went to see darren hanlon the other week and he was saying he's been quite sick lately, with a fainting and falling down thing. the doctors dont know what its all about either. he just took time off and now he's back on the road, playing gigs and meeting my kids in his spare time. what a guy!
also, hi 5 have had a stand in asian for a while now, while kathleen had her baby. one of my friends asked if her time off was for whoring. i suggested whoring with consequences.

i think the order is yellow, blue, red, purple, but anthony is my favourite

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 8:47:00 pm, Blogger Riss said...

I vote for The Smurfs! Oh, and Muppets, of course. :)

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 8:56:00 pm, Blogger Riss said...

Have to say, bought a Wiggles tape a couple of years ago and exported it to friends of Logan in the UK. Their (then) three(?)-year-old popped it in the machine while we were there and was absolutely glued to it.

I can understand the appeal of The Wiggles although when I was growing up I had more exposure to music than anything - anyone else heard of Unspun Socks from a Chicken's Laundry? No?

BTW, can't watch Hi-5. One of them really rubs me the wrong way for some reason...

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 10:44:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love He-Man. He has the powa wa wa wa.

At Thursday, November 30, 2006 11:00:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Yes ...

I believe we might all be getting just slightly off-topic ...

At Friday, December 01, 2006 7:06:00 am, Blogger Javatari said...

The doctors do know what is wrong with the yellow wiggle. In his press conference (unbelievable), he said it was some kind of heart condition that although non lethal, leaves him tired and lethargic (especially after singing and dancing around like an idiot).

As my wife says, "There is something weird about grown men singing and dancing for little kids."

At Friday, December 01, 2006 10:15:00 am, Blogger Kris said...

Javatari-I agree.

He probably has some sort of heart arrythmmia that is aggravated by exercise. While conditions like that are usually not fatal, they have to have exercise monitored.

And...Bevis you started to this!

Personally the only people I liked jumping around and dancing besides the Muppets (HAH! ON TOPIC!) was
Sharon, Lois, and Bran's Elephant Show on Nickeloden.

Skimmma rinky dinky dink
Skimma rinky do

At Friday, December 01, 2006 10:24:00 am, Blogger Kris said...

Actually I am making a rebuttal to my comment.

He was diagnosed with orthostatic intolerance (OI) which is commonly linked to chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS)

There are 2 types of OI but both symptoms are a drop in blood pressure while standing the result in fatigue, dizziness, and fainting.

Patients with OI linked with CFIDS may have a delayed reaction from those with just OI (onset of pressure drop after 3 minutes).

He probably has type 2 POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) which is not only a drop in pressure, but also an increase of heart rate. Which is probably why he the exercise is a big no no.

I am sorry I was a science major.

Grown ups singing and dancing is scary.

But obscure and little known syndromes...Fascinating.

SO POW! We are back on topic.

At Friday, December 01, 2006 12:08:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Kris, have you been drinking??


Skimmma rinky dinky dink, that's all folks!

At Friday, December 01, 2006 8:49:00 pm, Anonymous CBomb said...

Personally, I am of the firm belief that none of the children who love the Wiggles would have even noticed the changeover if The Yellow Wiggle hadn't made an announcement. When I was that age, I thought my mum and Princess Diana were the same person because they had the same haircut. Kids see the skivvies, not the people in them.

And since the Wiggles's core audience is made up of tiny children (not us, BEVIS, you loony), I doubt that we'll be able to properly gage the reaction to this event, because people that small DON'T RUN BLOGS.

At Sunday, December 03, 2006 10:24:00 am, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

gotcha bevie. as i thought, but i had to say something...

you know me!



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