I Blogged Myself

Why do you always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, To read this blog, y'know.

Welcome to the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational blog since Kermit left just a little bit of the swamp in his pants.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Burning Question # 1: Extinguished

Question: "Do you know the way to San Jose?"

Answer: Take the 680 south from Pleasanton and you can't miss it. (Note: If you start heading north-west, you've gone too far.)


At Saturday, January 07, 2006 10:36:00 pm, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

berry good mr bevis

At Sunday, January 08, 2006 8:45:00 am, Anonymous John B. said...

A Muppet question for you Sir Bevis! What did they call the Swedish Chef in Sweden? I can assure you they did not find the idea of a bumbling, idiot chef of their nationality to be amusing for some reason, so the character was renamed there.

At Sunday, January 08, 2006 6:27:00 pm, Blogger Magical_M said...

Thanks for that Bevis.

I was I afraid I may go wrong and lose my way.

Then I'd never be able to find peace of mind (in San Jose).

At Sunday, January 08, 2006 10:31:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Cheers, MG. :)

Thanks John B. This is something I already know the answer to, and will be happy to go into details in a separate post shortly. :)

A question for you in the meantime, though - would your favourite Muppet happen to be, perchance, The Swedish Chef?

I seem to recall that your first question was also about him, that's all ...

Magical_M, I'm glad I could help. The only reason I know is because I've got a lot of friends in San Jose, and they've got a lot of space. If you're ever there and looking for a hotel, I just know there'll be a place where you can stay.

I just know it.

At Monday, January 09, 2006 8:40:00 am, Blogger Gianluca Di Milano said...

I have one muppet relation question. was the frog ever make the sex with the mrs piggy? If yes, how? For me is an impossible. the pigs are mamals and make the sex as the peoples but the frogs are reptilics and are prefer external sexuals, that is just make the semens on the females back.

At Monday, January 09, 2006 9:34:00 am, Blogger sheriff of nothing said...


I think I missed something.

At Monday, January 09, 2006 1:05:00 pm, Anonymous mary k. said...

so bevis, if you were a muppet which one would you be.

and would you have sexual relations with the other muppets?

i think you are a plushie. do you know what plushies are?

At Monday, January 09, 2006 3:20:00 pm, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

oh, fuck again with the plushies!

lie low my friend. lie low.

tell us how to play it.

[sharpens tongue in preparation for verbal attacks and puts on bouncy shoes in readiness to spring to defence of friend's honour.]


At Monday, January 09, 2006 6:26:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Dear Gianluca, thanks for bringing that up (it was really helpful, as you can see). I think the point of the Kermit / Miss Piggy romance was purely for the opportunity to feature child-like romanticism and a love sub-plot in Muppet shows and movies; I don't think the characters were ever going to have to emulate sexual relations at any point. I'm sure that even if they did, however, they are only puppets so any such sexual relations would still not be required.

Sheriff of Nothing: No, not really. It's just a little crazy around here.

Dear Mary K, thanks for your questions. If I was a Muppet I would be Rowlf, because he is the epitome of the perfect Muppet (to my mind). If I were a Muppet I would not have sexual relations with other Muppets, as they are only puppets and not real. I am fully aware of what plushies are (I saw the same episode of CSI), but I'm sorry to inform you that I am not one myself. I'm sure you would have liked that, but alas, you'll have to come up with something a lot more clever and original than that.

MG: Thanks again for being ready to fight. :) I meant to tell you yesterday (but forgot, sorry) that Neighbours is back tonight, which actually means it's starting in five minutes. (!) Hopefully you already know this, will stumble upon it yourself, or will read this in the next few. Apologies for the tardy reminder (I haven't seen a single ad about it yet myself, so I'm assuming TV Week is correct - it is the Television Addict's Bible, after all!).

At Monday, January 09, 2006 8:22:00 pm, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...


i missed it!

what happened??????

At Tuesday, January 10, 2006 8:09:00 pm, Blogger Clokeeeey! said...

Bevis - "Where have all the flowers gone?"

At Tuesday, January 10, 2006 8:33:00 pm, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

bevis, watched it tonight.

oh. my. god.

evil harold is still with us. he hasn't snapped out of it. and it will continue.

i think you were wrong about seeing boyd with old gf, it was janae on the couch. but you did qualify that you couldn't be certain about it.

i love it.

then we watched, eastenders. i used to watch it years ago on cable in istanbul. of course there are loads of new people, but still some oldies. and all the stories are different. but it was funny to watch, in contrast with neighbours.

same, and yet different.

i taped neighbours for princess, and we'll have an intenso catch-up session on the weekend before she goes back to school.

At Tuesday, January 10, 2006 11:17:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Hi Clokes, are you providing me with more burning questions? Nice one, thanks. I have heaps on the back burner (pun intended), so I will add it to the list. Cheers.

And MG, thank you for the correction. (Please note, I point out gently and with a great amount of care and respect, that I have already corrected myself in a comment I left on my Neighbours post (ie. not this one about San Jose). But I understand you're having an emotionally-trying time at the moment with all the 'Krazy Karen' shenanigans, so as they say: "No harm, no foul".)


At Wednesday, January 11, 2006 5:24:00 pm, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

i know bevie. i came to this thread first. so i am humbled.

and excited, neighbours is on in a little over an hour.

At Thursday, January 12, 2006 2:24:00 pm, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

oh and i have a question for you.

i've always wanted to know, how much is that doggy in the window?

At Friday, January 13, 2006 12:34:00 am, Blogger BEVIS said...

You people are going to have to stop stealing all my draft post ideas!!



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