I Blogged Myself

Why do you always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, To read this blog, y'know.

Welcome to the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational blog since Kermit left just a little bit of the swamp in his pants.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Regrets - Why They Ain't, Really

Compiling that list yesterday made me re-think a lot of the items contained therein* and I've come to realise that not all of them are completely regrettable. In fact, some of them played a big hand in making me the champion guy you read before you.

Allow me to address each point separately, and list why (if relevant) they aren't complete regrets:

1. I've decided that I don't really regret the idea of not being 'tagged' in any of the blog tag games that have been going on for the past several months (or probably more). It led me to write these posts, after all. I'm happy with my lot. And like I said yesterday, this point probably didn't qualify as a regret anyway. It's more like the reason for the post being drafted in the first place, but wasn't an actual regret in-and-of itself. Thanks goes out to Elaine, though, for tagging me in support of my pain (or to shut me up). Either way, kudos! Consider me tagged.

2. Yeah, there's no getting around the fact that I forgot to specifically thank my best man in my wedding speech. This will always be a regret.

3. In regards to not bidding enough on the rare Muppet collectibles I saw on eBay, I bid what I was comfortable paying. We're on a budget, so if they were going to cost us that much, it wouldn't have been a managable expense anyway. If I'm meant to own those items, I know I'll be able to get ahold of them later, either at a cheaper price, or when I'm actually able to pay more for them.

4. Year 10 sucked; there's no getting around it. (Although that is when I met Ms Fits and had the privilege of offering imaginary chocolates to her "Eliza Doolittle"** as she sang 'Wouldn't It Be Luverly?' on stage in the school production of My Fair Lady ...) But even though the year sucked, I was introduced to bullying, intimidation, ridicule and harassment from the victim's perspective, and it helped IN A BIG WAY to form who I am today; my values and behaviours. I am a strong advocate for no bullying in the workplace (which is a full-time gig around here!), and it TURNS MY STOMACH when I see intimidation tactics being used on someone. My semi-alienation in Year 10 also meant I was thrust into a real group of friends - who didn't give me a hard time - and with whom I am still best mates now, over 14 years later. No, I mean best mates. As close a bond as it's possible to have. The year also helped me hone my bizarre brand of humour (which I did already possess, it's true), and make it such a 'weapon of mass hysteria' that I was able to reassert myself at the top of the chain-of-command by the time I reached uni and become the Magnificent Leader I always knew I could be (shut up, Riss), and of course enabling me to wow a little lady I met later, who called herself (quite perplexingly, at the time) 'Wifey'. So hey - it's all for the best, right?

5. Well, like I said yesterday, taking Roaccutane obviously helped clear up my cystic acne and probably prevented it spreading a lot further and/or being much worse. But it hit at the unfortunate time of my mid-teens (as acne often does!) and after I had just changed high schools (and states), so it was all-too-easy to be judged as The Freak without being given a chance. Still, I look sexy with a shaved head and I have very close mates whose friendships mean a lot more to me than token drinking buddies who share a love of the same football code.

6. I like to think the word missing from the sentence "I regret not having properly mourned Nanna's passing" is "yet".

7. My sister and I have a better relationship now, but we live in different states and don't see each other much. She's a stronger person for it (*denial*) ... but this is still a regret.

8. On the whole, I enjoy my job here, even if it is under threat from Howard (in more ways that one - VSU, Industrial Relations, etc) next year. I've learned new 'skills' since coming to work here, and I guess made myself more employable. Sometimes*** the managers around here are so corrupt and greedy and two-faced and cruel and bullying and self-congratulatory and rude and lazy and I wish I had a thesaurus at hand, that it fills me with The Rage. So I have my moments when I wish I'd changed jobs at some point, but the rest of the time I'm content where I am.

9. Not even having ten regrets in life is a good thing, obviously, so I ain't explain' that away.

Thanks for your comments yesterday. I'll get back to more cheerful fodder tomorrow.

* Yes, I really do talk that way.

** A character; not a euphemism.

*** For example, when it's a day ending in a 'y'.


At Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:09:00 am, Blogger thr said...

From the sublime to the venomous.
I get you on the bullying thing- same time for me- yr 10. I guess I am a bit different- I was an angry young man and had been through a bit of crap when I was younger. So the first time I got bullied (branded with a wet tennis ball) I bided my time, picked out one of them, and beat him till I broke my hand- and put him in hospital.

The bullying stopped. Worked for me, I don't recommend it all round.

At Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:12:00 am, Blogger sheriff of nothing said...

I will try to only comment once today 8oP

So I wrote a big long comment and well I dunno.

I am glad that writing about your regrets made you realise a lot more about them ...

At Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:58:00 am, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

oh bevie - these two posts were most heartfelt and touching.

about the wedding speech. you are right, there is no getting around it. i forgot to say the scenario i offered really happened to someone close to me. he was the best man, and it still mortifies him to think about it now, about 6 years later. at the same wedding the groom also outed an ex-girlfriend as a lesbian - with her family there... who hadn't known until that moment... just to try and make you feel better?

it's just i feel your pain

At Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:59:00 am, Blogger MelbourneGirl said...

and thomas, isn't it "bode" as in bode my time?


At Thursday, October 20, 2005 11:44:00 am, Anonymous Her Radicalness said...

I am sooooooooooo glad you never changed jobs - I wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know you, or work with you, or be friends with you. That would be a significant loss to me, because you are one of the only people in this horrid organisation that I actually *do* want to stay in touch with when I leave (which happens in 70 days, 12 hours, and 28 minutes).

And you're an asset to this organisation. We need people like you to even out the behaviour that you so aptly described. Not to mention the bloody student representatives.

You should, however, do what is best for you - at some stage... I should take my own advice somethimes...

At Thursday, October 20, 2005 1:25:00 pm, Blogger Locket said...

Wasn't roaccutane fun! I still can't have really hot showers.

I'm a bit late to the party (Elaine got there first) but I've also tagged you. But more for me than for you (as you'll understand when you read why I tagged you).

So now you only have 8 Regrets, or 8 "Regrets - Why They Ain't, Really"

At Thursday, October 20, 2005 6:09:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Thanks for your insight, Thomasr. Makes me wish I'd heard this suggestion sooner. (Although I know nothing I would have tried could possibly have helped, but anyway ...)

Sheriff, you amuse me. :) Feel free to duplicate your comments here anytime. It makes them twice as 'heard'.

MelbourneGirl, yes - it's all making me feel better. And at least by forgetting my best man entirely, I couldn't say something to make him wish the ground would swallow him up. I was planning to 'out' him as a lesbian to his wife and parents, after all ... so maybe it was all for the best.

Her Radicalness, you're very kind. Glad you're not watching the clock or anything. I will have to move on at some point; but who knows when that will be?

Locket, I've already thanked you for your kind words over on your own blog, as I'm sure you've already seen. I wondered if naming 'Roaccutane' would bring any fellow sufferers out of the closet (as it were). I'm not familiar with the "no hot showers" side-effect, though. The scarred skin can't take it, I assume? Ultra sensitive, is it? I guess that makes sense - particularly if the scarring was very bad at the time. Did you have the horribly cracked, dry and mega-peeling lips as well? (Did wonders for the social life, that did!) How about the "flowing like a tap left running in the bathroom sink and unable to be stopped no matter what you do so just shut up and hand me another grandpa-sized handkerchief so I can paint it completely red and let's wait 45 minutes until it eventually stops of its own accord" nosebleeds? Great if your parents wanted to paint a room red at home but couldn't afford the paint! I usually had four or five a day during my Roaccutane peak. No wonder I was seen as The Freak to throw acorns at, eh? It looks so weak, I'm worse than allergy-ridden best friend Paul on The Wonder Years! :)

At Thursday, October 20, 2005 8:37:00 pm, Blogger sheriff of nothing said...

glad I can be of amusement!

At Friday, October 21, 2005 8:09:00 am, Anonymous BEST MAN said...

Okay, as the best man in question at the aforementioned wedding, I can honestly clarify 2 things;

1. It didn't occur to me at the wedding that there wasn't anything specific about me in the speech - it just never occurred to be

2. I have neveronce thought about it since Bevis mentioned it to me the first time months and months ago

So, please feel no need to worry about this regret - I don't!!!!

At Friday, October 21, 2005 8:18:00 am, Blogger BEVIS said...

Ah, thanks Best Man. :)

It's still something that disappoints me (I intended to properly honour you for the job you'd done - particularly the very funny speech you gave!) so it's something that will stay with me, I'm sure.

But I appreciate you 'letting me off the hook', guilt-wise!

It's nice to see that so many of these 'regrets' aren't (or shouldn't be) so much regretful.

This has been very helpful and I hope others out there can benefit from it as well ... because I have just started a regrets-themed 'tag'.

At Friday, October 21, 2005 10:21:00 am, Anonymous The best Man said...

What the heck is a tag anyway?

At Friday, October 21, 2005 12:04:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

The thing that sticks out the back of your shirt collar and makes you look like an "Iversen".

At Saturday, October 22, 2005 6:20:00 pm, Blogger Riss said...

I love ya honey, I love ya.

Without you I would not be the person I am today.

At Monday, October 24, 2005 1:35:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Oooh - sorry about that. Hang on; you can't blame me for that!!

:) Thank you; that was a lovely thing to say (if a little disproportionate to the truth).

PS - Nice reference to my greatest ever stage role!


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