Muppet Question # 3 Answered

Here's a comment my good (but very sick and twisted) friend Kranki-Pants (as he has expressly asked me to call him) left on Thursday, 11th August:


Kranki said...

Wives are great. But if you had to be married to one of the muppets, who would it be and why?


Well, what a fantastic question.

Brilliant.

I don't know how he does it.

It's like English is his first language, instead of American.

Marvellous.

Anyway, upon first reflection, one would assume that there aren't a lot of female Muppets for a guy to choose from, when selecting a potential mate. There's the always-pretentious Miss Piggy, and the constantly-stoned Janice. And that's about it.

Actually, there are plenty more female Muppets, but not really any with much personality (that we've seen). There's Wanda, Zelda, Hilda, Astoria, Cynthia (notice how they all seem to rhyme?), Gladys, Annie Sue, Mildred, ... and of course Camilla. (But who wants to marry a chicken?)

(Besides Kranki, I mean.)

The thing is, if we're talking about being betrothed to a pile of felt and fur, why should I preclude the male Muppets?

Assuming it's not too creepy (considering where we started out with this discussion, after all), I will also look at which male Muppet I'd consider marrying.

I think I'd be attracted to Kermit's integrity and commitment. He was always so strong in his resolve, and tried to do the right thing despite everything going wrong around him. He was also fairly unflappable (but when he lost his temper, he would generally scream), and he was always a true professional once he was out on stage addressing the audience.

Although I've never enjoyed Fozzie very much, I've got to say that he has a heart of gold. He possesses an unconditional love (if you don't offend him - if you do, he can actually be quite childish), and his determination to succeed at whatever he sets his mind to is admirable (particularly his crappy stand-up routines); I'll give him that.

I'd certainly be attracted to Rowlf's sense of humour. And plenty more of his characteristics, but you can read my separate post on Rowlf if you're interested in knowing more about that.

I'd be attracted to the 'sweetness' of Sweetums, the primal urges of Animal, the brain of Bunsen and the ego and daring of Gonzo.

But it's hard to say which of them is the complete package.

I'd probably find more solace and comfort with Kermit, so that's my final answer. Kermit's the marrying type for me.




Sexy smile, huh?

Oh, and if I was to marry one of the girl Muppets, I'd go with Janice. She's cool!




Who would you marry?