I Blogged Myself

Why do you always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, To read this blog, y'know.

Welcome to the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational blog since Kermit left just a little bit of the swamp in his pants.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Hang On A Minute!

I just have to re-dress one particular photo I used in my post yesterday:

Can you see the utter stupidity taking place in that photo?

Here, take a closer look.

It's like a train crash about to happen. Time has slowed down and I want to scream out "No, you idiot! Not that one!". How can we stand idly by and just watch as this train of stupidity closes in on the lorry truck of embarrassment that's stuck across the train tracks of humiliation and about to explode in a fire ball of shame?

What's going on in the mind of the woman on the left? Do you still not see the problem? Take a really close look.

Why isn't she putting her yellow disc in the column that already has three red discs in it? She can't possibly win (or even get close) with the column she's about to drop her yellow disc into. But she could stop her ugly friend from winning, if she'd just move two columns to her left!

And this image was taken from a site actually promoting the game! What kind of idiots do they think play Connect 4? Why would they imply that their target audience can't even work out how to play the game?

First of all they make it jumbo-sized for the complete morons in the community to be able to play the game, then they advertise it by showing how much 'fun' two grown women can have playing Connect 4 in their backyard.* And to top it all off, they illustrate how ridiculously retarded you have to be to play the game!

Oh no, ... don't even try to tell me that the constipated ugly chick on the right, bending over to pretend she's carefully studying the gigantic, impossible-to-miss playing pieces in front of her as if she can barely make them out, just so she can hide the fact that she has a turtle-head beginning to poke out and she's deperate to win the game and rush inside to go to the toilet ... don't tell me she's actually a man!


This whole thing is a disgrace, and I'm getting way too worked up about it. I'm going to go have a lie-down.

* Does anybody actually know a thirty-year-old woman who would enjoy playing jumbo-sized Connect 4 in her backyard? If so, please report her to the authorities.


At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 10:08:00 am, Blogger la nadine said...


i'm not thirty, not even close (thank fuck!) but i would never say no to a spot of backyard giant connect four.

i, of course, would never make such a stupid mistake however.

At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 10:49:00 am, Blogger BEVIS said...

... So you claim ...

At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 11:25:00 am, Blogger la nadine said...

are you challenging me, boy?

At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 12:58:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

I sense a Backyard Giant Connect 4 Play-Off coming on!

Bags not being yellow. Yellow seems to be retarded people.

(Not that I'm saying ... oh, forget it. I'm too tired to play, anyway. Plus, I'm too old. I turn 30 in just 16 days, and unlike the ladies, that's the age men stop playing this game.)

Maybe we can have a Backyard Giant Connect 4 Play-Off Round-Robin Tournament with my other reader included, as well?

Is anyone else up for a game of retarded Backyard Giant Connect 4?

At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 1:55:00 pm, Blogger la nadine said...

i'm not coming unless i'm red.

At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 4:08:00 pm, Anonymous Jess said...

I am so up for retarded Connect 4, it's not even funny. Unlike this post, which is - a hearty comradely blog-handshake, sirrah!

At Thursday, August 04, 2005 6:55:00 pm, Blogger Clokeeeey! said...

How come the girl on the right becomes more pixelated as you zoomed in, was she too embarassed by the size of the mistake about to happen?

At Friday, August 05, 2005 1:19:00 pm, Blogger problematic said...

Yes. Everything seems to be going on alright in this area. Keep it up.

At Friday, August 05, 2005 5:34:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Jess: Thanks. Well, you make three. Not quite a tournament yet, but at least we're on the way.

Clokeeeey!: Yes, although I don't know if you mean the mistake with the Retarded Backyard Giant Connect 4 play set, or the mistake in her pants.

Cotton: Your feedback is appreciated. Hopefully things around here will continue to maintain this hectic pace in the future.


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