Puppet Injustice - Part 3

OK, it's time to tell you the truth: Rowlf the Dog is my absolute favourite Muppet of all time. Something I apparently share in common with the late, great Muppet maestro, Jim Henson himself.

I mean, look at him:




How adorable is he?

But why, out of all the Muppets, do I favour a relatively indistinguishable large brown dog as my top pick? Well, I'm glad I asked. Allow me to run through his good points for you.

Break it down, now:

Check out his "I don't care about society's standards; I'm posing for a bust statuette and I don't mind looking ever-so-slightly bored to the point that I'm actually ultra cool" attitude. His eyes, lopsided grin and chin resting in his hand all say: "I'm not going to conform, man, so you're just gonna have to deal with it." And there's not an air of arrogance about him.




*marvels*

No wonder this bust was one of the first to sell out.

Look how cute he was as a baby! And a child prodigy at that - before he was even three years old! Wouldn't you just love to own this little guy for real?




OK, yes. I may need help.

He was a consumate performer, able to play Beethoven at double-speed if necessary (and it often was), croon with well-known singers, accompany the Electric Mayhem and their elitist snobbery (once, when the band walked off the show in protest of the theme song being too 'lame', Rowlf was the only one committed enough to stick around and play it on his own), and every fourth bar was played (effectively) blindfolded, due to his ears blocking his eyes as he bopped along with gusto. What an amazing talent!




Many assume that Kermit was Jim Henson's original Muppet. This is not actually the case. Rowlf pre-dates Kermit, and is technically the longest-serving Muppet in the canon. He is shown here with Jim Henson (right) and Jimmy Dean (left), from the stint Rowlf and Henson performed in a recurring guest spot on The Jimmy Dean Show in the mid-1960s. Rowlf (centre) has possibly had some plastic (or 'felt') surgery done since these early days, as his appearance has only improved over the years. He has also been on a diet.




A classic film buff. Well-mannered. And what a sense of humour! Rowlf was loving of all of God's creatures! (Note the distinct lack of any eating he's doing with that cat.)




Romantic!




Thoughtful! Contemplative! A genuine sweetie.




Not to mention able to weave pure magic with his paws. A dedicated professional medico, commited to operate on you no matter what species you are. As long as you're happy with him cracking puns about it.




And not only that, but he was arguably the wittiest, most 'adult-humour' Muppet there was. (For those of you playing at home, Janice probably came a close second, with Dr Teeth getting the bronze medal.)

Don't believe me? Check this out.

When Jim Henson died in 1990, Rowlf was all-but-retired. He has appeared since only as a non-speaking 'crowd character', finally getting a line in 2002's It's A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, which was a made-for-TV vehicle. He plays the piano when needed, but basically his voice isn't heard anymore. This is a travesty. Rowlf was funny, talented, creative, artistic, gentle, sensitive, faithful, and voiced by Henson himself.

And I miss him.