I Blogged Myself

Why do you always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, To read this blog, y'know.

Welcome to the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational blog since Kermit left just a little bit of the swamp in his pants.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Home Again, Home Again, Jig-a-de-jig

Wow. Well, it's taken a couple of days to recover from the trip of a lifetime.*

Wifey recovered fully after her trip to the hospital in Hawaii, by the way. But my parents arrived home this morning and apparently Dad got really sick after we left (with exactly the same thing!).

He's alright now, though. It just put a dampener on the end of an otherwise terrific holiday.

There's a few things I wanted to cover off on before I leave the subject of our Hawaii holiday forever in the past.

1) Bucket and Spade.

As you may remember, in the days leading up to our holiday, I admitted on this blog that Sweetums did not, as yet, own a bucket and spade combo. So Wifey bought him a small set of beach toys (a good size for travelling overseas in a suitcase), and he was delighted to play with them the first day we were in Hawaii.

Here's what he owned, bucket-and-spade-wise, when we left Australia:

Due to people giving him stuff, and his grandparents buying him stuff, and more stuff being offered to him from the resort's lost and found department, here's what Sweetums now owns, bucket-and-spade-wise, as of when we left Hawaii:

Crazy ridiculous. What a haul. He really lucked out with a massive amount of freebies, and now his trips to the beach (which will definitely continue, seeing he loved it so much on the holiday) will include a plethora of beach toys to keep him happy.

He truly is spoiled.

But he truly does deserve it.

2. Water-Saving Americans.

Upon entering the resort, one of the first things I noticed was a sign sitting on the kitchen bench that asked us to help conserve water by washing our towels less frequently, putting the dishwasher on low cycle (and only using it when it's full), and blah blah blah ...

But the most commonly-used method (at least where we hail from) was missing, so one of the best ways of saving water was lost. What method am I talking about? The Australian-invented 'half-flush' on the toilet. When it ain't necessary to use a full cistern full of water, why waste it? It's a great invention and a bit annoying that the rest of the world has been so slow to discover this simple but brilliant invention.

Not only did the American resort not take advantage of this essential water-saving device, but here's what the toilet bowl looked like:

I don't know how clear that photo is, but the water level is almost up to the brim of the bowl. And it's a mega-sized bowl. And when it flushes, it goes through approximately 7.8 gallons** of water. It just doesn't stop. It flushes and flushes and flushes. At first I thought the thing was broken, but no. That's how long they continue to flush. It was the same wherever else we went on the islands.


On each and every flush. I couldn't believe it. And they had the cheek to leave a sign on the counter asking us to be water conservationists??!? It boggled my mind.

For a comparison, here's out toilet at home:

(Don't worry; it's clean.)

It's a normal-sized bowl, it has a half-flush option, and the water level is an entirely acceptable, successful, adequate and effective minimal amount (as shown in the photo).

We had a great time on the holiday, and those Americans put on a great spread of wall-to-wall hamburgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner (not to mention the exceptional weather), but the ludicrous nature of the sign when compared to the excessive water wastage in the toilet had me scoffing at them in my mind.

But then, there's no reason to get all high-and-mighty. After all, it's not as if we Aussies have never done anything we might be ashamed of.

* Assuming you only live for about three years or something.

** What the hell is a 'gallon', anyway?!



At Friday, July 04, 2008 1:03:00 pm, Blogger Magical_M said...

I think its a West Coast thing... when I was in LA I noticed the same stupidly high water level in the loo but when I moved to DC I don't remember it being like that.

Or maybe my memory is bad.


It is rather insane though...

At Friday, July 04, 2008 2:33:00 pm, Blogger Melba said...

thank you for the bucket and spade update. i told you sweetums was being seriously neglected by having precisely none before you went.

thank you too for the toilet flush/water wastage update. also very important.

but most of all, thank you for that really quite funny yahoo serious gag.

i liked it.

have a good weekend.

At Friday, July 04, 2008 9:07:00 pm, Blogger Mars said...

i noticed the toilets in the US being really full too! at first i thought it was blocked... but then realised, no. it was horrible... i was always a little bit scared that the toilet water might rise up and touch my bum!

At Saturday, July 12, 2008 9:55:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

And not just the water, Mars ...

*leers lecherously*

At Saturday, July 12, 2008 10:06:00 pm, Blogger BEVIS said...

Magical_M, either way (whether you remember it rightly or whether you're as sane as a pile of pins), the point remains that it's a stupidly unnecessary waste of water, and it simply shouldn't be allowed.

Melba, I'm glad you liked the YS gag. I must admit that I was a bit proud of that one myself!

Kris, I don't want you (as my resident American) to feel singled out with this or offended in any way. There's plenty you Yanks do that appeals to us Aussies. The weather in Hawaii during March of this year, for example. The Muppets. The Back to the Future trilogy. The US version of The Office (originally a poor man's version of -- and then far superior to -- the UK original). The world's best sitcom ever, Arrested Development. And, of course, it goes without saying that I include Lost in this list. So don't despair. You can't get everything right. Yes, you elected a loon. But who hasn't?


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