Thank The Lord For Your Presence # 7

Last Wednesday night saw the seventh episode of Thank God You're Here (TGYH).

Frank Woodley, Fifi Box and Josh Lawson returned, while Bob Franklin celebrated his first appearance on the show by taking out the prize for the best performer of the night (it was either going to be him or Josh; both Fifi and Frank have won the award before).

Josh, whose first appearance on the show was only last week, performed his scene first. He was a special guest dog trainer (a self-professed 'Dog Whisperer', which I found highly amusing given my own long-time claim of being the 'Cat Whisperer'), and he was quick off the mark with a couple of great calls: 'Let me just start by saying, "Ruff-ruff!"' and his limp-wristed handshake, meant to signify a paw.

When he knelt in front of the dog that licked his face, and then was asked later how to stop her licking her private parts, his answer (directed at the dog) was brilliant ("Oh, ... you licked me with that tongue!"). I enjoyed his performance very much, and hope to see a lot more of him in the future.

Fifi was up next and I thought she did much better than her previous two attempts on the show. Although she did next-to-nothing of note in the group scene as Amish people who've fallen by the way-side (her one great line in that scene being when she suggested that her punishment be that she doesn't "come to these meetings anymore"), I felt that her solo scene as the Minister for Planning at a local Council's unveiling of a new needle exchange centre was only slightly less brilliant than her first appearance as a self-help guru selling specialised gym equipment on a telemarketing ad. Some of her answers to the questions posed to her this week by angry local residents fell flat, but others seemed inspired and very funny. She did well, but I think four appearances is more than enough for Fifi (or anyone else, really). I'm just glad that her Amish costume has been-and-gone, seeing as she referred to it on the radio the other week (I mentioned it at the time), which means I know of no expected fifth appearance by her. There are other female comedians out there who'd do a great job on this show - Fifi, Robyn and Julia aren't the only ones! What about Jean Kittson, Gina Riley, Jane Turner, Magda Szubanski, Corinne Grant or Marg Downey? There are loads more they could get in, and most of those I just mentioned have ties with the creators of this show (or at the very least with the network), so it wouldn't even be a stretch!

(Judith Lucy doesn't count, though. I think I'd even prefer to see Elle McFeast, Effie and Dame Edna Everage on the show than Judith Lucy. Actually, that might be a cool idea - let's really test the mettle of these creative types by making Libby Gorr, Mary Coustas and Barry Humphries - the alter egos of the above three characters, respectively - enter a scene and find out who they are and what they're meant to be doing as they go along ... but make them have to react as their character! That'd be much harder.)

Okay, moving on. Next off the bat was Jimeoin's good buddy, Bob Franklin. Despite him seeming to take quite a while to come up with a response to most challenges put to him, and some of these seeming weak when he finally delivered them, Wifey and I enjoyed his performance the most. He was the leader of a revolutionary army, meeting with his men to discuss the following morning's attack. His three-point mantra was one of the highlights of the night ("All men are? ... expecting too much; The price of freedom is? ... something we can all afford, if we put our minds to it - yes? It's better to die? ... than to just get by, really, isn't it."), and when confirming that they wouldn't be attacking the palace "because that's what they'll be expecting", and being asked what they will attack, his dismissive, "Oh, we'll find something, don't you worry about that!" had us laughing long and hard. His typical slow, drawn-out style of humour made it simply magical to watch him answering the questions and fielding the comments being put to him in that scene.

Frank Woodley came on last, and found himself being interviewed on television to advertise (and answer his critics about) his self-run retirement village. He threw in lots of gags about it being a disastrous place as much as he tried (half-heartedly) to defend its reputation from his apparent detractors. He was naturally very amusing, and had some very clever answers, including his new 'stack them in shelves' approach to bedding. We especially loved his answer when asked if he had any professional carers on staff, pointing to a new finger on his other hand as he said each word: "Well, look ... professional, responsible, high-class, educated nurses ... are really expensive, so I just do it all myself."

The group scene was the aforementioned Amish scene, where our four trusty victims contestants entered to find themselves being called in front of the community's elders to explain their recently-discovered sins. Each had to come up with their own punishment, and in addition to Fifi's answer of not coming to any more of these meetings, Bob also said that he hates sitting down quietly and being left alone, so that became his punishment. They all had a lot of fun and were very enjoyable to watch.

Is anyone out there watching this show and not enjoying it? Feel free to say so; it'd be interesting to hear your reasons. I won't attack you, I promise!

I watched the episode on tape again, and it really is the best way to watch it. Even though it meant I hadn't watched it until a couple of days later, the plus-side was that I again got to fast forward through the idiotic Dad's-humour lame-arse gags of Tom Gleisner's judging. Such a pointless aspect to the show.

Just before I go, let me leave you with four good reasons why I don't want Judith Lucy to appear on this show at any stage:







I rest my case.

Seriously, watching Judith again with Wifey's insight as to her lookalike-ness to Sir Les Patterson, I was enlightened enough during this interview between Rove McManus and Judith Lucy last week to notice how much she is a dead ringer for Dame Edna Everage, only nowhere near as funny. Yes, Judith Lucy is a man in drag! I've finally worked out what it is about the woman that so disturbs me. Her mannerisms, her way of talking, her facial expressions, her jaw and mouth work ... they're all from Barry Humphries' alter egos.

The teeth are from a dead wino, though.*



* Ouch! Now even I think that was too harsh.


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