So Much Blasphemy, So Little Time

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...

If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 2 of The Amazing Race Series 9 (TAR 9), do not read any further!

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Before I get started on this post, I have to let you know that this is my second attempt at putting this one together. I spent almost two hours last night writing a massive write-up on the episode, going into a lot of detail on each team and their good and bad points, but just as I pressed 'Publish', it lost it all. Normally I copy the entire text before hitting 'Publish' (for just such an emergency), but of course the one time I don't do it, I lose it. So I went to bed fuming mad. Therefore, what follows is a poor second, because I was very happy with the version I wrote last night and haven't been able (or felt inclined to try) to reproduce it all here. I’m sure you can appreciate my intense frustration, and hopefully the below post will still be ‘worthy’.

Last week's episode ended with 'the frat guys' getting out of the helicopter on the roof of the building, with 'the freaky hippy guys' about to land on the same rooftop in their helicopter.

I’ll provide my thoughts from this episode on each team, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!'). I’ll follow this format each week, so that anyone who missed an episode and wants to know which team was eliminated, which team came in first, and so on, can come here and easily see for themselves at a glance.


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1. Buff Frat Guys (BFG) - they played well this week, although they were already so far through the leg that not much was required of them, really. They found their clue on the building, were pleasant enough to the FHG as they waited for their helicopter to land and pick them up, got to the candle-lighting ceremony, then made it to the soccer/football stadium first. Not much to say about them, although I was pleased that they didn't rat on my buddies (the FHG) after they were all congratulating each other on the rooftop. I'm happy enough that they won $20,000 to share between them for coming first in the inaugral leg (a TAR tradition; the contestants don't win money for arriving first at every leg throughout the race, although in some years they have spot prizes at random pit stops - we'll just have to wait and see as the series unfolds), but I would have been happier if the FHG had won the cash. I'm certainly not upset about it, though.

2. Freaky Hippy Guys (FHG) - they were very pleasant to the BFG as well, and didn't turn on them and bad-mouth them after they'd left (in fact, they both said "They're good guys"). They were having fun ("Dude, is this the most 'James Bond' thing you've ever done?"), and apart from dancing around with the candle-lighting people a bit too much (didn't they realise the pit stop - and a cash prize - was where they had to go next? They should have, if they've watched the show in previous years!), they did nothing I could fault them on. And to be fair, most of the teams danced around a bit with the candle-lighting people. It must have had that kind of vibe.

3. International Mom & Daughter (IMD) - again, with these first few teams, we didn't see too much of them this week because they were almost finished already. This pair was particularly invisible. But they managed to come in third, proving my point from last week that they could end up being a real 'sleeper' team worth keeping an eye on.

4. Nerdy Dork Couple (NDC) - another team we didn’t see for too long, but they did okay. Their biggest mistake was not getting the taxi driver to let them out at the right entrance to the stadium, and it seems like this is what allowed the IMD to overtake them at the last moment. Will they have learned a lesson from this? Or will they be unaware that they 'should' have come in third? I’m glad they’re having a good time while still playing a fairly good game, but I wonder how much of their success here was down to good fortune and how much was clever game-playing. If it was mainly the former, they could be in trouble in future legs of the race; if the latter, they should continue to do pretty well.

5. Bigoted Southern Couple (BSC) - I completely understand his reluctance to help the DEC with the motorbike challenge. If I was on the race, I wouldn’t want to be put on the spot like that by being asked for help by one of my competitors. It could go either way, and each option has the potential to be my undoing. The team I help could overtake me and I might be eliminated, or if I say no, the other teams may turn against me and give me a reputation of being horrible, which would in turn create many potential issues on future legs of the race. It’s not fair of the DEC to ask him to help them like that. Therefore, I thought it was very good of him to give them the ‘useless’ assistance he gave them. Although I prefer the DEC to the BSC, I understood and respected his "That goes there; that goes there; gotta go!" brand of help. However, his level of enthusiasm is a little scary. The way he carries on when he thinks (or she tells him) that he's done a good job of something is a bit startling. It’s this sort of person whose mood you can never predict, and he jumps from one extreme to the other, almost without warning. I’m sure she lives in constant uncertainty of whether or not he’s about to blow his stack and scream bloody murder at her. I don’t know how or why anyone can live with people like that. < WIFEY! DAMMIT, WOMAN - BRING ME A BEER NOW! >

6. Dating WASP Couple (DWC) - we didn’t see too much of this team, with the exception of them getting very frustrated by their useless taxi driver - and he did certainly seem fairly useless. I noticed with interest that when they got out of the taxi and the FHG went to get in, the DWC didn’t bother to warn them about the driver. Interesting, that. (And good game-play, even though the FHG are my boys*.) Thankfully, the FHG didn’t appear to have any problems with the driver (although maybe he contributed to them remaining in second place). As for their cute little nickname, ‘MoJo’ (because their real names are Monica and Joseph), it shames me to say that I’d have done exactly the same thing if I was in their place. I know it’s ‘dicky’ and embarrassing, but silly little nicknames like this are my style entirely.

7. Token Black Couple (TBC) - we didn’t see too much of these guys either. What’s with him not reacting to a whole streetful of goon making ‘whoop’ noises at his wife/girlfriend? Maybe he was concerned for their safety if he said anything or even gave them the evil eye (he gave the camera the evil eye for a moment, as if we were to blame, but that didn’t do him any good). I'd have told them to get lost (but maybe I'd have been knifed or beaten to a pulp for my troubles). Still, the dude just doesn’t talk. I’m hoping he’s just been a bit shy or something so far. I want to see more of the sparkling wit (if that’s what it was) from last week, where he introduced himself to the husband from the BSC with a slight trace of insult thrown in. At least, that’s how I chose to interpret it. If he’s still the brooding silent type next week, I’ll discard his amusing introduction as an accidental joke and nothing more. See the comments section to last week’s TAR 9 post for details on this introduction if you didn’t catch it or don’t remember it.

8. Deceptively-Elderly Couple (DEC) - considering they spent so much time lollygagging at the motorbike shop and running on par with the SSM and the TGG for last place, I thought they did very well to come in eighth overall. But like I said earlier, they should have just watched the BSC put their bike together and copied them ... and probably not chosen the worst bike there when they arrived at the place. However, that being said, when they finally made up their mind to go to the helicopter instead (and boy, did they seem to take a long time to reach that decision … although it could have just been the way it was edited together), they made good ground and moved up a few places in the list. I was wondering who’d be coming in last, for a while there. I trust their lapses in judgement are over now. If they’re going to prove me right with my tip last week that they’re one of the ‘sleeper’ teams who will surprise us (and the other teams), they can’t spend an hour walking straight past the clue box or umming and ahhing over whether they should try the other task in the Detour.

9. Blonde Bimbo Sisters (BBS) - I don’t know what happened to these two, because they left the motorbike place before the DEC, and I think they caught a helicopter before the DEC did as well, but somehow they fell behind them by the end. I haven’t seen much of them to find very impressive just yet, but I hope out hope. Slightly. (Next week looks interesting, with them ‘getting to know’ the BFG better. We’ll see if this is actual flirting, or more game-playing.)

10. Silly Sister Moms (SSM) - how many times can you say ‘Oh my God!’ in one five minute period?! Seriously, if you’re going to keep praying to and thanking Jesus for finding you a taxi, and ‘asking the angels for protection’ on the helicopter you’re flying in, I’d suggest you not take the Lord’s name in vain so frequently. Here’s my tip: He doesn’t like it. Pick a side. You’re either his buddy, or you’re someone who treats his name like it’s a swear word; you can’t be both - that’s just insulting to everyone. Also, they still seemed to be slow-off-the-mark and acting like they’re just on a holiday (taking a casual stroll, not looking around them properly, etc) for my liking. Where’s the drive? Where’s their hurry? I just sat there wondering how many other teams didn’t make it onto the show who would have shown far more enthusiasm and taken the opportunity more seriously. These women are basically wasting their chance at being in the game. Be gone.

11. Token Gay Guys (TGG): ELIMINATED! - I am neither surprised nor disappointed by this outcome. I’m just glad they stopped arguing long enough to find a ‘positive’ thing with their short stay in the game. And what was that ‘positive’ thing? They were both very impressed with the really gay one’s ability not to panic in the helicopter. Woop-de-do. (Nah, good on him.) What a shame that ‘Genie’ wish thing didn’t work out for them, eh? Apparently it’s never failed them before. Whadda ya know. The first time it fails them, it’s on international TV, and makes them look like a pair of tools. Oh well.



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All-in-all, a reasonably good episode, although certainly not the best I've seen. I think it has something to do with them splitting one leg of the race over two episodes and weeks. I'm sure I'll enjoy next week's episode even more when I'm seeing the full departure, Roadblock, Detour, pit stop and general mayhem in one sitting.

What a fantastic show.

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Next week's tips:

First Team: BFG (I think the boys will maintain their lead)
Last Team: SSM (I really hope they stay at the end of the pack)
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: BSC (It’s only a matter of time before he cracks it at his wife)
Smartest Team: DEC (I’m giving them one last chance to impress)

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* I’m not calling the FHG my testicles.



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