Touché, Fabian
My good friend Fabian and his diminutive fiancée sent out their wedding invitations last week. Some of you will recall the fiasco caused by their engagement party invitations a few months ago. (For a recap, see here.)
The engagement party itself was great fun. (For a recap, see here.) But you may recall me asking somewhere in there what would happen with their wedding invitations.
Well, Wifey answered the door the other day to our friendly postman Gerald who needed her signature to accept an envelope. You guessed it - they sent our wedding invitation by registered mail!
No one else's; just ours. Well done, Fabian.
posted by BEVIS @ 1:48 pm
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69 Comments:
good plan after the engagement fiasco!
i too remember the engagement thing.
one question. how and why do you know your postie's name?
Do you have to reply by registered mail too?
Registered mail?? Bevis, my dear, you must be of much more importance than I thought. And here I was thinking it was only your BlogOlympics prowess that made you more noticeable than the rest of us.
Fabian rules.
Sheriff of Nothing, Fabian says thank you. He's just a bit shy.
Elaine, hang on a minute! I thought you were going away!!
MelbourneGirl, our postie is a lovely old confused gentleman "who used to own a car but they took it off him because he can't remember how to drive." At least, that's how he tells the story. And the picture of him above demonstrates his confused state. He sometimes forgets that he's not allowed to open up people's mail and have a read (as he was caught doing when I took this photograph), and that he's not actually an American mailman (he found the uniform on a dead drunk one day and continues to wear it whenever he does his rounds). He's a wonderful old guy - but he smells a bit of wee.
Clokeeeey!, I sure hope not!
MeghansDiscontent, stop it. You're embarrassing me with all this truth.
Fabian, stop posing as Sarah.
fabian rules
i've been looking around and i cant see wendy, gene or the truth fairy anywhere on your blog
im thinking they're not able to step out of the safe confines of adelaide and ake on the world.
ps. my word verification was odouma but i read it as odourama
i have nothing to say really bevis, just checking around the traps before i head to bed, but the word verification is:
nomudtt
i like it
oh i do have something to say. my meme is written, all in tiny cramped notes over three separate bits of torn envelopes and paper etc shoved in my bag, compiled over three days. will post it tomorrow night.
Bevis, my meme is complete. No scraps of paper for my, just a brain dump.
Little Faerie, no, it would appear that they haven't bothered to follow me here - or they don't consider me worthy of leaving any stupid comments, anyway. Some people get ALL the luck, eh! :)
MelbourneGirl, thanks - I very much look forward to reading your meme. Your commitment is already impressive!
Ladies, my word verification is: 'urguy', which I find extremely clever of my computer to have worked out all on its own!
Cape Man, what the??! I've just now read, loved and commented on your meme post, but quite frankly I'm startled by # 20. (And yet, highly honoured that you chose to 'satisfy' my tag before hanging up your cape for good.)
Be well.
Bevis, you are correct.
It's not the first time I was double tagged too, so you'll get 40 for the price of 20.
http://puppetvision.blogspot.com/2005/10/05-muppet-fan-halloween-parade.html
Could there possibly be a bigger muppet fan?
So, are you going to go or not?
Ha! Sorry about that Cape Man - I guess it was annoying from your perspective to be 'double tagged' like that, but at least it was before I knew! :)
Clokeeeey, thanks. I'm sure there are plenty of other Muppet fans out there more fanatical than me, but I'm certainly the most avid one I know. (And I'm your local Muppet expert, people, so don't you be goin' changing dealers on me!)
Chai, I will definitely be going. They spent $1.70 on sending the invite by registered mail, after all. They've also asked me to their video guy for the big day, and as I've indicated on this blog already, that's one of my 'things', so I'm chuffed to be asked. :)
I have finished my 20 Things but am yet to Tag anyone else...
http://heyriss.blogspot.com/2005/11/tagged-20-things-you-probably-didnt.html
hey bevie. go to justine's log. she's got a side bar with her links, which is headed:
web loggers
see!! it caught on quite easily.
I'll never change to an American Muppet fan. You rule.
little furry girl - I'm well aware of this site. I have been laying low and not posting comments as I have been gathering material about the sort of people who are excited about puppets and who dress up as one.
I've notified the authories on the possibilities that this site is a haven for children to visit. This man is sick. I am in the process of getting him some help.
DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. He is a plushie and dresses up in plushie clothes to get off. Talking about muppets and puppets and all things plushie excite him. DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN VISIT THIS SITE
I guarentee that this message will be deleted as I am telling the truth.
Very droll, Wendy.
Hilarious.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sha-zam!
I was lenient with you the first time, but if you grotty up this clean blog any longer, I shall delete all comments from you on principle, regardless of content.
Consider this your warning. Like I said on Little Faerie's blog, you're very welcome to visit and I won't stop you from hacking on me or whatever you like if that's what you want to do, but the one rule is that you must keep it clean or you'll just be wasting your time.
I have my suspicions as well Wendy.
I feel as though my innocence has been taken from me.
I'm sick of reading about Touche Fabian, I've read it a million times today. Can you like, stop working or having fun or whatever and entertain me?
So do I sublime-ation, that is why I am speaking out. Im not being dirty or hacking anyone here. Just stating a fact that I find this site unsettling.
Censor my views if you wish - why delete my comments if I am making a valid point? Don't mean to touch any raw nerves, does it ring too close to home?
Damn!!! What did I miss, what did I miss? Why is everyone blushing?
who are you wendy?
i've been reading this blog for months and there has never been anything untoward, nothing in the least bit offensive
and i'm five
What started as a post about a wedding invite has turned into a current affair foot in the door special.
I am a concerned parent who has had her child visit this site.
Until YOUR child looks up the muppets and gets a 30 year old man making comments about 'the swamp in kermits pants' i suggest you keep out of it.
If you people want to support this man then you are all as immature and sick as he is. He lists his favourite song as nikki webster for God sake. Can you not see my concern here???? Are any of you parents??? He is trying to attract children or sick adults. He has listed things that children with similar interests will look up. Open your eyes - it is social acceptance like this that makes the world a sad place.
I am a concerned parent who has had her child visit this site.
Until YOUR child looks up the muppets and gets a 30 year old man making comments about 'the swamp in kermits pants' i suggest you keep out of it.
If you people want to support this man then you are all as immature and sick as he is. He lists his favourite song as nikki webster for God sake. Can you not see my concern here???? Are any of you parents??? He is trying to attract children or sick adults. He has listed things that children with similar interests will look up. Open your eyes - it is social acceptance like this that makes the world a sad place.
you're not a concerned parent. your a trouble maker who enjoys putting other people down and making yourself look and feel better.
i have just caught up with your 'talents, or 'satire' as some people have called it, from other peoples posts and links.
you are a very sad sad person
anonymous - 'satire' 'talents' what are you talking about? i have a ten year old child who came and visited this site. hoe does that make me someone who enjoys putting people down? show me one site where i have talents (?) satire (?) what are you talking about??? (btw - are there many wendys on the internet??)show me where i have posted anything 'satire'. i am a married mother upset over what her child has found on the net. She was looking up stuff for the muppets for gods sake!!!!
who the **** are you to say im not a caring parent. it is the reason i am concerned about this site. if that makes me a sad sad person, then i worry for your mind aswell anonymous. nice try in trying to damage my credibility and claims.
does not any MATURE adult out there agree with me that a grown man listing CHILDRENS interests in his blogger linker and CHILDRENS puppets as a link etc think that it is unsettling??? MY TEN YEAR OLD CHILD CAME HERE AND THEN ASKED ME WHY KERMIT HAD THE SWAMP IN HIS PANTS MUMMY!!!!! you are all sad sick people if you cannot understand where i am coming from.
i have notified child protection services none the less and if this is a harmless site they can decide it themselves.
Ahhhh... I seee..... wendy... ligthen up, it's all wordy... I dont see anything offensive here. I have a nine y.o. and I dont see anything to be of concerned here (except some adult with a unhealthy obsession with the muppets) and as you know, it's not a very big leap from 10 to 30. If I were you, I'd be more concerned about the other more graphice sites rather than something as harmless as this. [Pay me later, Bev]
Listen Wendy. Who the hell lets a 10 year old into blogger on their own? Don't you restrict your childs usage of the net. I bet you let them have a computer in their rooms so you can't see what they are doing anyway. Just coz people have interests and can recite trivia from those intrests doesn't make them a plushie. Am I dodgy coz I like my football team?
If you can't control the kids, then start by looking at yourself.
Maybe we ought to get protection services over to your place, let them take a look at what you've been surfing.
Stop over reacting and return to the hole you crawled out from.
wendy, i have a nine year old girl and i wouldn't let her use the internet without close supervision anyway, and certainly not blogger. as you should know, the internet is filled with uncensored material.
having said that, this blog is funny and harmless, as is it's author. it's just that your child should not have been here, because it's written for adults. bevis is not responsible for who comes here and what they read - it's unrestricted, though i must say he is one of the more gentlemanly bloggers around.
wendy, you've got it wrong. look at yourself; are you perhaps a little annoyed with yourself for not properly supervising your child? looking for someone to take it out on? i can understand that.
Bevis, no need to pay me. This one is for free.
this is how angry you have made me. my grammar slipped - make that "as is its author"
bevis, i would like you to pay me please. we can sort it out later.
[big hug]
[rubs bevis' fur]
Don't rub his fur!!! You know who will be slapping you with a child protection order too..
oh, now i have to worry about child protection as well as ASIO???
dang
OK, Wendy, whatever you say.
I look forward to having tea and biscuits with them when they arrive. Thank you for your concern and I hope your imaginary child can have a good time being raised by all the imaginary personalities in your head.
Everyone else, don't bother trying to engage 'her' in conversation or debate; it's not worth it. That's what she's doing it for: reaction. It's not real and is only intended to deceive and divide. Who needs the angst? Responding only plays into her hands.
For example, watch what happens when I say this: "Wendy, I deleted your comments because they were grossly inappropriate and were guilty of the vile filth of which you are accusing me - and you know it. I have already stated above that if you don't stoop to being disgusting, your comments will not be deleted. And that is all I am going to say to you."
To my other readers: Wendy is free to leave comments but if she's vulgar or offensive again like the paedophile references I deleted above (which is never a funny topic under any circumstances), whatever she has to say will be deleted.
Free speech is encouraged here, so she can say what she likes about me. You can all make up your own minds about what you believe; I don't care. But from now on, I will either ignore Wendy (and her other alias') comments (and I would encourage you to do the same), or I'll delete them if they're too vulgar.
People who get their fun out of destroying other people's fun are bored and broken. That's why I feel sorry for her and why she is textbook 'sad'. It amuses her to write these things and watch the reaction it causes. Basically she's a blog terrorist. But enough pity and focus on her methods; let's never draw attention to her again.
PS - To the crew who commented in my defense while I wrote the above, MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL! :)
It's very much appreciated and I thank you. But like I said, she's trying to rile us all up, so let's ignore it. If she calms down and becomes a friendly commenter, fantastic. If not, don't let what amounts to her buzzing around your head like a little insignificant fly annoy you.
Remember, flies have a very short life-span, so if you don't give it crap to feed on, it'll have to go elsewhere to survive.
yay bevie.
message received.
over and out.
Only coz you say so Bevis.
I wasn't trying to chastise anyone, BTW. I'm touched that you all flocked to defend me! :)
Poor Wendy didn't know who she took on when she tried to infiltrate my blog, eh?
Also, I guess the 'fly' thing from my above comment is a bit of a glimpse into what I meant by the analogy skill I have. It may not be the best example of it, but I generally come up with one in most situations by way of highlighting a point.
I particularly liked how aptly the above analogy suited this situation!
Anyway, I will blog something new tomorrow at some point. My apologies to Adam in particular for letting him down today, and MG? I don't think you can take the credit for Justine's menu!
The cheques are in the mail. They're blank, so you can fill in any amount you wish.*
* And when I say blank ... I mean they're also not signed. And there's no bank information either. In fact, I've just sent each of you a small rectangle of blank paper. Knock yourselves out.
wendy - thank you everyone for your 'quick to blame the parent' routine.
where on this site does it warm that it is not for children - yet has childrens content??
i monitor my childs internet usage - i let her look up 'the muppets' in google.com i left the room for one minute to get a pen to write down what sites she found and came back with her asking me what 'kermit left some of the swamp in his pants mean'
this site can be found on google, im sorry - how can you attack me as a parent when my child has found this site in a general area. i didn't 'let her into blogger' it isn't a friggin door - you don't let someone into blogger. it can be found on the net. my daughter was sitting in the LOUNGE ROOM with me present. if you are going to attack my parenting skills i again condemn the 'other adults' (i use this term lightly) on this site for turning a blind eye.
all is ask is that a warning be put up that even tho this site contains CHILDRENS MATERIAL that it is an ADULTS SITE. is that a fair ask? as you said, bevis cannot monitor who visits this site but he can notify them correctly can't he.
clokeey - go back to your hole and let the adults talk ok. you obviously dont have children. or if you do i pity them.
I will treasure my blank sheet of paper. I might even divide it up and give it to my kids. Knock yourselves out.
imaginary child??
i cannot believe the extent you have gone to discredit my valid claims. i give up on trying to ask you 'adults' to be mature and think about what i am saying for two minutes. i have never perverse or said anything perverse. i am an angry mother trying to point out that her child came here and read something for adults.
all is ask is that you put a warning up for people that google 'the muppets' all you need to do is warn people it has adult content and not designed for children.
i do not understand how that makes my child imaginary but whatever. i am just trying to do the right thing.
So much noise in here, I must have left a window open.
BTW, you know what else can be found on Google?
So-Called-Wendy's ultra-disgusting 'Truth Fairy' blog. She's permitted to have it if that's what amuses her, just as I'm allowed to have this innocent blog over here. She probably can't fathom how someone could have fun without being destructive and dirty. Another reason to pity her inability to see past her delusion.
You know those kids when you were young who just have to hurt others to prove themselves, or who have to destroy another kid's toy to gain the satisfaction of having the power to upset someone else?
They're the ones who are empty inside, and they lash out at any purity they don't understand because they can't have it themselves.
My conscience is clear and so is Clokeeeey's and MG's and Chai's and everyone else's who regularly visits here. They come here for innocent and harmless fun, and that's all this blog has ever claimed to provide.
For filth, look up The Truth Fairy and see the way she has tried to anger me with defamation. It doesn't bother me.
Water + duck's back = whatever, dude.
bevis, i'm sorry i am bursting here. i can't find your site on google in the first 100 results for "the muppets" either on a worldwide search or australian pages only.
must be me.
now i WILL shut up.
promise.
MG, that would be because I haven't used any Muppet words in the name of the site, or any keywords (metadata) for the entire blog.
But let's cut Wendy a break, here. She can't be expected to get ALL her fake facts correct when she's making up a bogus claim on the spot to justify her earlier nonsense! I really don't think you're being fair on her, MG.
:)
i've just had a look at her site. yep, sick. so that will make it a whole lot easier to ignore.
going to bed now. sleep well my friend.
Ditto. Sick soul.
Same here; that little incident has helped me unwind after a long day. It was actually very theraputic!
Thanks again to MG, Clokes and Chai for 'stepping up' like that; I trust you all have a good night's sleep as well.
who is the truth fairy??
i don't have a site. whatever exactly dude.
it is just painfully sad
Oh Holy God, I go away for a weekend and come back to find this stuff . . .
Bev, babe, you are too good. I commend you for your lack of anger at something so random and ridiculous. Lack of children isn't what makes us insensitive to her bullshit. It's that she's trying to shelter her 10 yr old even though the radio, TV and what's that thing called again . . . oh yeah, LIFE are filled with far worse things than swamp filled pants.
What I love is that she keeps coming back. If it's SO bad . . why keep it where you can get to it . . could it possibly be because you're a drama queen?
Speaking of drama . . . has ANYONE heard how the second round of BlogOlympics is progressing?
please to explain, what are blogolympics? i have heard them mentioned but know not what they are.
i had a GREAT sleep bevis.
Thanks again, all.
Hopefully you've had a laugh amongst the frustration. It's all amazingly purile, really - which in turn makes me laugh.
It's certainly not getting to me, so never fear.
However, work is very busy at present, so I will either post something in my lunch break, or (more likely) when I finish work for the day. Sorry again to Adam for the delay. (!)
In the meantime, thanks for your comments and emails, and I'll be back later.
PS - As for the Bloggolympics, I have sent in my round 2 response, so hopefully others have as well and we're not far off hearing the results. Excitement! (Visit Adam's blog, linked from my right-hand menu, to read all about them - it's been hilarious!)
I meant YOU had disturbed my innocence, Wendy, not Bevis, btw...I have never even thought any of those things you mentioned about Bevis' blog. You obviously don't get it, or are trying to stir up trouble because he defended Little Faerie. That's pathetic! It's also extremely slanderous, you can't call someone a pedophile without proof, it's a huge accusation, and having a blog devoted to The Muppets has nothing to do with being a pedophile...it's part of popular culture!
Why don't you go and fight real exploitation?
Many children and women really are harmed daily, fight that, this isn't anything to do with that.
Now let's return to The Blogolympics...
Ahhh, the Bloggolympics! I'm waiting on one more response from DrowninginJello and we'll have Round Two sorted. Bags and bags of excitement!
Bevis, young man, just when I didn't think I could be anymore impressed with you.... Your dealing with the Wendy situation was amazing. Good work dude.
Thanks to everyone for entertaining me today, you've all done great work!
I'm darn near falling on the floor I am so sitting on the edge of my seat.
the wendy 'situation' ?
pfft.... yeahhhh.... aparently i am some sick and twisted individual called the truth fairy ????
i am seeking legal advice to get that other site taken down and also as to where i stand in being accused of being associated with it. and i would like to add that i have researched THIS site fully and apart from the initial kermit quote i have found nothing untowards in it and i have withdrawn my inquiry with child protection services. I APOLOGISE. i was being hot headed and like someone mentioned i was looking for someone else to blame about my childs internet visit.
BUT, if you 'adults' keep ignoring the fact that this site advertises as 'the muppets' and refuses to warn children that it is an adult site i feel sad for you. i feel quite sad that my claims have not once been listened to and somehow i am being portrayed as some sicko ??? i checked that site out today, it is absolute filth. the weirdo aparently following me and ran a sick story on you. i apologise for bringing your site to that freaks attention. but i have no idea who that person is. i have never contacted or interacted with the 'truth fairy'
i do admit now that i have cooled my hot head that i should of been paying more attention to what my child views on the internet. all i ask is that a warning be put up that this site has adult content (and i only ask because children are fascinated with the muppets)
and hey, at the end of the day i like the muppets too.
i am sorry. im just a mum trying to protect her kid and i went the wrong way about it. i had a bad experience with men when i was a child and i tend to judge people harshly as a defence mechanism. im sorry you believe i have an imaginary personality and imaginary child. she is very real and very loved.
i will not bother you again bevis.
Speaking as a close and real-life (not just web) friend of BEVIS, I was personally shocked by the accusation that he was a "plushie" and needed some "help".
I was also pleased to read everyone's comments in support of BEVIS. He really is a beautiful person and is in no way deserving of the accusations made against him.
I cannot figure out where all that came from.
wendy, i'm glad to see you have apologised, for what it's worth. but still you went ahead and slandered a decent person. i'm not convinced you aren't truth fairy, but maybe you're not. anyway, it doesn't really matter. if you aren't, then you know what it's like to be associated with something and thought to be something you are not, something that reviles you. how does that feel?
it seems also you lied about your child finding this site via google. my argument (still) is that no child should be using the internet without close supervision, no child should be in the blogger world because from what i have seen, they are all "adult" sites, not meaning sexual and gross like that truth fairy one etc. but some with coarse language, sexual references etc. like a bunch of adults talking. which is what we are. it's not a place for children. bevis' site, however, is mild compared to some, mine included.
having said that, i'm glad you have cooled down and realised that bevis' site contains nothing of offence. the swamp in the pants thing is just HUMOUR. as is the other (lame) stuff you mentioned, ie nikki webster (i'm GUESSING this is a joke. right bevis??)
bevis doesn't need to put any sort of warning on his site, because it doesn't come up in google search results that i can see. and even if it did, it's not his responsibility who finds their way to it. it's yours as parent of your child. maybe you have learnt something from this. i know i have too. i have really admired the way bevis remained a gentleman through this, kept calm and measured.
[stands up and claps bevis]
[esteem mucho high]
a) BEVIS, you have beady eyes and wear polar fleece and spell your name in all capital letters so you are obviously Dodgy McDodgealot;
b) In spite of (a) I still think you're ace;
c) That lady is underpants on her head crazy;
d) I've been trying to stir up controversy in my print publication all year and even though I had to deal with that thing, you've done way better without even trying;
e) I had my last exam today so I'm basically unemployed, so if you have any more trouble and need someone to go round with a steel pipe and a bike chain, I have my price (it's low. Real low. Centrelink won't put me on the dole because I can't find my birth certificate. Ten years with the company and they treat me like a stranger!);
f) It's, like, a week since all this went down so what good am I, except that
g) I've sent an email round to flag her arse/ass;
h) 'n stuff.
Please note: reference to beady eyes is for literary effect only
Thank you once again, Riss, MelbourneGirl and CBomb. All very kind words (and CBomb's dissertation was hilarious!).
Also, this is for CBomb's benefit: I have cheesecake in my office like you wouldn't believe! Come in here and take it all away, would you? There's so much of it, it wouldn't fit in your pigeon hole.
Classy friend that Cbomb.
What exactly are you threating to do CBOMB? Come around and service my bike? That would be lovely *hugs*
P.s. if physical violence is your thing best keep it clean cos Bevis likes to keep it nice and pretty round here.
There's no way I'd go to freaking Adelaide just to service a bloody bike. Petrol's not free, you know.
And BEVIS (if that's your real name), if you keep offering to put 'cheesecake' in my 'pigeon hole' you're going to start another ruckus.
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