Loved & Lost
I can't say too much about it at the moment (because it's not my business and I haven't asked permission to mention it here), but a friend of mine told me yesterday about a loss they recently suffered. It has saddened me a great deal (it's a very serious situation) and I don't want to 'cheapen' the matter (or make her regret confiding in me) by going into details or identifying her.
But it got me thinking about loss.
I've loved and lost before - but in the case of relationships, it's all been for the best (it led to my wonderful marriage to the wonderful Wifey, obviously!). When I've lost beloved pet cats over the years, I've felt varying levels of sadness (depending on how long I'd owned the cat in question). After my first car crash (the other guy's fault), I was surprised to feel a twang of loss as I watched my car of seven years being towed away for the last time (even though it was a crappy little Toyota Corolla 1986 model, as shown below, and I am anything but a car connoisseur). And don't get me started on all the books, CDs, videos and DVDs I've loaned to various friends in good faith, never to see again. (The season one boxset of 24 still hurts - if you're out there, whoever borrowed it, please return it!) If only I didn't have so many friends! I honestly can't remember who borrowed the missing items. I'm too generous for my own good. (And yes, I'm going to put a stop to my 'loans' ... and keep a written record of who borrowed what from now on.)
So what have you loved and lost? It doesn't have to be anything as trivial as a DVD, or as serious as a partner. In fact, the more emotional you got over the most trivial item possible, the more entertaining for the rest of us. (But serious examples would shed some fascinating insight on who you are.)
Let's spread the misery around a little. It'll be easier to bear.
posted by BEVIS @ 10:10 am
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18 Comments:
Sorry not to be trivial . . .
But I lost a baby.
I found out I was pregnant.
At the same time I found out I had ovarian cancer.
It was treatment and surgery or give birth.
That had to be the hardest thing I've ever lost. Nothing has ever cut as deeply. It cuts worse because I couldn't bear to tell my family. I wasn't sure they would have agreed with my choice . . .so I kept mainly to myself and a few close friends that I had been 2 months pregnant.
God after that I feel really bad commenting about my grandmother's rings. Does stolen count as lost? They were an original 1920s George Jenson (so cool, like a 'stamp ring' that Kings have in films to seal envelopes with, but of five silver raised bars on a black background) and an antique jade ring she got when she went through China with Gough's mob in the 70's.
I left them on my piano. They were stolen by a klepto friend of a friend fucker, who would never have any idea what they were, and most proably pawned them for drugs.
I've never told my mother. She'd kill me.
I mourn their loss still.
Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I believe that was your second car, not the first as the picture indicates!
nice post bevis. i have lost a few books as well, by loaning them. i don't lend lightly anymore, only to trusted friends, and i write them down. and i ask for them when it's been too long. other people who are not so close, or who i don't trust to return, i just say "sorry, i don't loan my books"
MeghansDiscontent, that's terrible news - I'm sorry to hear that. I certainly think that when it comes to cancer, early treatment is paramount to your best chances of survival.
It's certainly a tough one, and I feel for you having to make this decision - it sounds like it's something you're possibly still struggling with.
Sublime-ation, don't feel bad at all about commenting on a trivial loss! (Otherwise no one else will comment either!)
At first, I thought you wrote "George Jetson" ring, and I was picturing the of smiling face of the futuristic cartoon character on some kind of plastic signet ring from the bottom of a cereal box ... but I see what you were saying now. I think this is a perfectly legitimate item to list here. (So would a George Jetson ring, incidentally!)
Spankk, it was my first car.
The car I drove previous to that was my Dad's (which he kinda gave to me on a 'extended loan' arrangement).
I didn't buy Dad's car off him, whereas the red one shown above was paid for by yours truly. I hope that explains the reasoning I was using.
MelbourneGirl, well then - here's the test: Can I borrow a book? :)
It MAY have been a 'distinguished' George Jetson ring after all, with the words 'Suzza' on it.
That would be pretty cool...
I can't even remember his name properly, it's Georg Jensen.
See? The pain of loss has effected my spelling of Scandinavian names!
I don't lend books either: I leant my mum's copy of Midnight's Children she bought in India (groovy purple cover & it SMELLS of India) to a friend at uni, that was nearly ten years ago, every few years I bump into him and we say 'Midnight's Children' simultaneously, but I've never gotten it back.
Mum doesn't know about that one either.
this is like a cross between things I have lost/confession booth isn't it?
maybe I should be posting anonymously...hope mum's not reading this!
Upon further reflection, you're right Suzza - it is a bit similar to Ms Fits' "Confession Booth" post.
Good thing Ms Fits doesn't read my blog very often, eh! :)
(Please don't dob on me!)
Bevis, I could go happy or I could go sad. I choose happy.
I used to adore my virginity, we would spend lots of time together, go to bars and come home together, go to all blue light discos and still go home together, until that one fateful night, when lured into the back seat of her car, my first love took ginny from me and he was lost for ever.
Jemima.
I was 3 and she was a rag doll (the Play School one with black plaits) given to me on my 1st birthday. We were inseparable.
My older brother threw her out of the car window on a trip from Adelaide to Melbourne when my parents were arguing over a map.
Because I didn't actually speak in comprehensible sentences until I was 4, they couldn't understand what I was saying and Brutha wouldn't own up.
I took years to get over it. In fact I still get emotional when I see old photos of her and I together.
I think I've detailed my trauma over the loss of pets on your blog before Bevis, so I won't go there again.
The One Who Killed My Soul took some of my fave rock bios and a book on the 60s which was a present from my dad. And Scott 4. Fucker. Another horrible boy took my copy of White Light White Heat.
When I was 14 I accidentally dropped the needle on my copy of Hatful of Hollow from a great height and somehow put a huge scratch in it. That was my favourite album ever, even then. I'd saved my pocketmoney for it, loved it, lived it, then I ruined it. Waaaaah.
i've lost the ability to be happy and relaxed with my best friend
Clokeeeey, that made me laugh - good one! Now will you give us 'sad' as well? (Or are you sure that story wasn't the sad one?)
Magical_M, that sucks. I hope Brutha was made to pay for his transgressions later?
Rowena, you could possibly find that album again on eBay - have you tried looking for it? I know it "wouldn't be the same", but it'd be pretty darn close!
Little Faerie, I don't know what to say to that. That's genuinely sad alright.
Is there any way you crazy kids can re-capture the innocence and fun? I hope so.
Also, I was going to make a truly hilarious crack about your best friend's name here, but I don't think I need to go there (and I'm sure you can guess the name I was going to use). Gold!
I lost the watch my grandmother gave to me. I have been to a psychic to try and find it, to no avail. Her husband gave it to her the day my father was born.
I still get pangs of sorrow when I think about it.
lc, i suppose you've tried all the places you suggested i look for my fatboy slim cd? i still haven't found it. annoying.
and bevis, of course you can borrow a book!
[starts sweating but keeps smiling]
Bevis, that was a little sad, but I was happy to let him go.
I'll keep the sad ones to myself for now. Capeman made mention in his top 20.
Shh! People will work it out!
(MG, relax - it was a test. You passed, but I have all the books I need, trust me.)
LC, I'll find it for you. Hmm. It's in the spare room, at the back of one of the dresser drawers. (If this turns out to be false, you're lying to me.)
I love playing Scrabble but I always lose to Her Radicalness.
I guess that qualifies ...
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